We’ve known for some time that this celebrity is engaged, but the details about her wedding plans have been far and few between.

One item on her checklist that isn’t leaking out is her choice for Maid of Honor. While it is usual for a bride to choose a sister or cousin or long-time friend, our bride is going a different way.

Her long-time best friend is an famous actress. However, their friendship is on shaky ground right now. We’ve talked about some of the issues that have caused the friction between the two over the past year or so. During that time, our bride has become close friends with another female celebrity (who has a habit of stirring up controversy).

Our bride understands the public relations machine, very, very well. It would be disingenuous to choose the old friend as her Maid of Honor, as the two are cordial but rather cool towards each other right now. However, if she chooses the controversial new friend, the media will certainly work overtime to uncover the “scandal” that tore the former best friends apart.

A third choice, one that would work for both her and her future husband, is a celebrity couple with whom they have been spending a lot of time recently.

So, what will she do? Choose her former bestie (which will placate the press), or her new friend (which could stir up questions) or the celebrity couple (which would be neutral and work for both her and her fiancé)?

As of today, she is choosing… none of the above! She is starting to think that she just wants to avoid the whole mess, and is now asking her future husband to forgo the wedding party altogether. If she can’t have anyone up there, neither can he! He’s not happy about it, but, unless she has some miraculous reconciliation with her long-time bestie, this may be the only thing that will keep the peace. (Blind Gossip)

Jennifer Aniston, Court "don't forget the extra e" Ney Cox, Chelsea Handler, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski? Jennifer should tell them all to eff off and really make the offices of the tabloids crumble into a million pieces by making her arch rival Maddox her man of honor.

There have been a lot of break ups lately, and we hear that there is another one coming!

This celebrity is very beautiful – and has been famous for over 20 years now – but her taste in men has always been questionable.

Her spouse is not exactly a model husband. She has primary responsibility for earning the money and raising their child/ren and keeping the family together… while he does little except cheat on her! He was cheating on her while they were dating, and kept cheating right through their marriage. In retrospect, it was pretty naïve of her to think that he would change once they got married.

One additional interesting aspect of this split is her long-time friendship with a very famous actor. The actor has become friends – no, make that very good friends – with her husband, so it will be interesting to see which half of the couple he will support after the split. (Blind Gossip)

Cindy Crawford, Rande Gerber and George Clooney for the friend? If Cindy Crawford was 25 and George Clooney needed a new award season escort, he'd side with her. But since Rande's got the tequila, he'll go with Rande.

During a recent weekend, this multiple Oscar nominee and this one-time Oscar nominee spent some time together. They watched some sports game together, had a few meals together, and participated in a few leisure-time activities together. All very innocent, right?

Maybe not.

Multiple has a jealous male friend. He is an actor who broke into the business more than 20 years ago as a minor. Now, we’re not saying that anyone here is gay… but Multiple has had a revolving door of girlfriends, One-Time has been in few suspiciously beardy relationships, and Male Friend spends an awful lot of time in gay bars in WeHo!

The Male Friend wasn’t at Multiple’s that weekend, but he quickly found out that Multiple was spending the weekend with another man. When he found out that it was One-Time, he went nuts! He sent One-Time a flurry of threatening texts and voice mails telling him that Multiple “is my man” and that he had better stay away from or that he would tell the press that One-Time is gay!

Uh oh! But it was an idle threat, and One-Time knew it. He knew that Male Friend wasn’t about to sink three successful careers with one call. But – just to make sure – he and Multiple did a photo op together that portrays them as a couple of regular, macho guys who were doing nothing more than hanging out, watching sports, drinking beer, and talking about girls. (Blind Gossip)

Leonardo DiCatchAHo, Bradley Cooper and Lukas Haas? Bunch a melodramatic queens. But I do get a twitch thinking of Lukas Haas and Bradley Cooper scratching at each other over Leonardo DiCatchAHo. I'm surprised I haven't written that fanfiction in my wet dream journal before.

At a pre-Oscar party this weekend...

He’s young, super hot, and engaged. To someone also young, also hot, and arguably more famous, for now. But she wasn’t with him. Which is why he could focus all his attention on someone else -- a beautiful girl made famous by a franchise who is growing out her hair while his fiancée currently prefers it the opposite way.

They were flirting for a long, long time. All he wanted to do was talk to her. And laugh with her. And it was just the two of them until almost the end of the night. They were close to the last ones to leave. Am told “he seemed waayyyy into her”, so much so that if “(his fiancée) was there, she would not have been happy about it. But he probably wouldn’t have been like that if she was there anyway”.

Better that they figure this out now though and not after the wedding. They say it’ll be a long engagement. If this is how it’s going down though, the engagement might be longer than the marriage. They’re just so young.

PS. NOT January Jones. (Lainey Gossip)

Liam Hemsworth and January Jones disguised as Emma Watson?

It is not so much that this keeps saying he is getting married A++ list mostly movie actor buys pot. I think most of us would be shocked if he didn't smoke pot. After seeing some of the things he has done, lately, I certainly hope he was on pot. The very very interesting thing is that when our A++ lister has gone to buy pot from his dispensary, he has had, for the last two or three times with him a barely out of her teens blonde and they are all over each other. (CDAN)

Brad Pitt?

This could go down as one of the stranger hookups of all time. They are both good looking, but just two totally different people. It is not really blind worthy except for the fact that some people believe the A list mostly movie actor with A+ name recognition is still with his cheating girlfriend. So, technically if that were true, then he cheated on her with this B list celebrity/reality star with her own show from time to time and a ton of money from an ex. I'm trying to picture in my mind how this went down. She probably killed him. She likes to bring out the paddles. (CDAN)

I wish this was about Brad Pitt and La Bruja from Real Housewives of Miami and I'm still going to tell myself it is, but this is probably about Robert Pattinson and Denise Richards. The only way we'll know is if we ask Denise Richards to lift up her arm. If she's got a hickey on her armpit, then we'll know that she totally got on the sparkle rod.

She’s a mega-star who started young and seemed to not be affected by the child star curse. Seemed to be. But eventually, that shit will find you, even on a delay.

It’s the mother. Though the parents were previously thought to be harmless... the mother now appears to be going full Dina Lohan. The mother has been hitting her up for cash for a while now, the better part of a year. To support her own projects, resurrect her own failed dreams, and her new relationship -- so essentially she’s bankrolling her ma’s midlife crisis. The daughter can afford it, certainly, and if it was just the money, it wouldn’t be getting out, but now she’s being asked by her mother to leverage her own fame and influence for industry contacts and connections. Since she can’t get a meeting on her own, she’s been namechecking her daughter to get in the door, and when that doesn’t work, she’s been pressuring her daughter to step in on her behalf, jeopardising her daughter’s reputation. No matter how hot you are, you don’t want to be known as the girl with That Mother. It’s becoming a concern for the daughter’s management team, as they worry that her ma’s increasingly aggressive famewhoring will undo their own moves in advancing the young star’s career. As you can imagine, it’s a delicate, uncomfortable situation. She is loyal and protective to and of her family. But she cannot deny that her mother may be compromising her professionally and is torn about whether or not to indulge her mother’s demands or look out for herself instead. She’s stressed, and while that doesn’t excuse her mistakes, it does provide some insight about some of her behaviour.

By the way, her boyfriend has been very supportive through all of this, certainly her most reliable source of strength. (Lainey Gossip)

Kristen Stewart's mom has been trying to direct her own movie for what it feels like centuries, so I'll guess that this is about them. I don't know why the situation is so delicate. I'd just tell my mom that right now I'm making millions of dollars for doing what a cardboard cutout can do in front of a camera and all that will go away if she keeps acting like a fame whore. If mom keeps screwing with her business, she'll screw with her money and then she'll have to cancel her Chico's charge card. Or in KStew's mom's case, her Dickies charge card.

This famous unmarried couple has asked a famous married couple with whom they are friendly for a very interesting referral.

Given the woman’s medical condition, you would think that they would be asking for a referral to a doctor. You would be wrong. They were actually asking for a referral for a special effects expert! It seems that they want to buy one or more prosthetic devices to make the first female either look pregnant… or to look more pregnant than she is.

So, that leaves us with several possibilities: The first couple was never pregnant but they are looking to fake it; or they are pregnant and are looking to make the bump look bigger; or they were pregnant but aren’t any more and are looking to stall the announcement of a miscarriage. Whichever the case, they are clearly looking to fake or exaggerate a condition to gain public support. Given how the first female’s penchant for attention, no one should be surprised about this. (Blind Gossip)

Beyonce probably referred Kim Kartrashian to her new business venture: fakeababy.com

This B list celebrity couple who only achieve such a lofty place together. Separately they are C listers barely hanging on to his past fame. Married. Kid/s. She thought they were going to be together forever. He thinks she is trying to grab any speck of fame she can and wants someone who will just be quiet and do what she is told and she promised fame was not what she wanted. Fights that have caused him to live with family members recently. Screaming. She puts a happy face on everything and I did not realize she was that good of an actress. I can't believe the police have not been called to their house, the fights are that bad. They both hate bad publicity though, so maybe they realize what would happen if the police were called. (CDAN)

Tori& Dean?

This celebrity is B+ list. Name recognition is probably A. You probably would not recognize her on the street if you saw her. Well, you might, but she would be the one that twice in the past week has ended up passed out drunk in the street. Not in front of her house either. We are talking about once at the base of a bus stop sign and two nights later in front of a bench. Apparently she could not make it on to the actual bench. This will be revealed. (CDAN)

Ke$ha, but I'm pretty sure that bench is her actual house and I'm pretty sure that bus stop is her vacation house.

This nobody has hit the lottery. He actually could be making for or asking for a whole lot more money than he is currently getting paid to be the boyfriend of this A list celebrity. She loves having a boyfriend and the only way she is going to meet someone who does not work for her is if someone arranges it. A few introductory meetings and a a coffee and then dates paid unknowingly by her. He gets paid $1000 a week which is twice as much as he was making at his last job. He is not supposed to have sex with her, but no one says no to her without a fight so it probably has happened or will. Does this make him a gigolo? (CDAN)

My guess is this is about Brit Brit and her new piece Normal Guy Dave? If Daddy Spears is really buying boyfriends for Brit Brit, then he needs to be slapped with his grit stirrin' spoon. I mean, the best he can do is Normal Guy Dave? If you're paying for it, you should get top of the line shit. What I'm saying is that Daddy Spears should've hired a professional like Brace the Face from Gigolos.

He thought he was so lucky. Big career, lots of money, big name, lots of pretty girls (famous and not) practically throwing themselves at him.

Well, Lucky Guy’s luck is about to run out! Because his latest girlfriend has a little surprise for him. It is something that will tie him to her forever. It is not something that he wanted or expected. And chances are he will find it more shocking than charming. So will you. (Blind Gossip)

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler and she's either knocked up, is the sister he didn't know about (it happens!) or has an STD. I'm hoping for the first one, he's probably hoping for the second one.

or this is...

Leonardo DiCaprio and Margot Robbie and she's either knocked up, is the sister he didn't know about or has an STD. I'm hoping for the first one (but only because I want to see all the VS Angels meltdown), he's probably hoping for the second one.

This actor is B- list. Honestly he should be C list, but he has such a well known face and voice that you have to put him in the B list range. Huge career lasting for decades. Always the second banana, but very popular. Did I say he was aging? Over 60. He insists his latest girlfriend is 18, but she was telling people at dinner the other night she needed to get home and study or her parents would kill her. I'm thinking high school student. He plays big in high schools. Colleges too. (CDAN)

Jeff Goldblum, you nasty!

People are sad over this attractive couple’s split. Let’s clarify a few things about their relationship.

First of all, they were never a real couple. However, they really were friends with one another.

Secondly, the arrangement worked so well over time, that they actually thought about making it more permanent.

Thirdly, they broke up very suddenly, but it was not because of a conflict between the man and the woman. The real conflict was between the man and the woman’s brother. That’s right! The guy didn’t really break up with her. He was actually breaking up with her brother! She was just a casualty of the fallout.

Why did they break up? One guy heard that the other betrayed him (we don’t know if it was true or not). The breakup followed very quickly after that. It was very sudden and very ugly.

Finally, all three in this relationship are adults and are professionals in the industry, so we think that there is a zero out of ten chance that any details of their relationship or their breakup will ever be made public. (Blind Gossip)

Ryan Seacrest, Derek Hough and Julianne Hough? My guess is that Derek betrayed Ryan by using all of his Sheer Blonde shampoo without replacing it. Poor Julianne. So close to having a long-term beard contract and her brother had to ruin it all!

It was not that long ago that this almost A list mostly television actor was still trying to make it look like he dated women. He liked the impression that he was a ladies man and he got that impression by dating woman after woman. He dated so many women because there was never any third date love if you get my drift. He would just date them until he could not hide it anymore and then move on. Meanwhile, women all over the world would follow each of these changes and hope they would be next. He finally has settled down. Of course the person he settled down with has never actually even pretended to date a guy and everyone was fairly certain she would just come out. She is a B list actress. Mostly movies. I think I am being generous in giving her a B. She might be closer to a C. The couple claims they fell in love and can't be separated from each other. Well, she has a girlfriend so there must be some separation sometime. He is not currently seeing any guys and is extremely hesitant to ever do so except when he is out of the country and in very controlled circumstances. I'm not sure why they decided to go this route. It is confusing, especially on her part because she was so close to coming out. Publicity? That could be. Her old girlfriend knew a lot about publicity. (CDAN)

The Daily Mail has a post today about how Alexander Skarsgard carried his "girlfriend"Ellen Page's luggage through LAX over the weekend. So I guess this blind item could be about them. I don't think ASkars and Ellen Page are dating, but if they are, then who ever put them together needs to have their beard matching certificate revoked. That shit isn't even close to being believable. Richard Simmons and Michelle Shockedwould be a more believable couple. And as much as my b-hole wants it to be true, I'm pretty sure ASkars only loves peen in my wet dreams.

This A list mostly television actor has a movie coming out. Well, it was coming out, but there needs to be some reshoots and our actor refuses to do it and has said that he won't do any press for the movie either because he feels like everyone on the crew disrespected him. Well, if he was not such a crap actor they would not have laughed at him everytime he tried to a scene. (CDAN)

Ashton Kutcher. Exhibit: A through Z

This A list celebrity/rapper/mogul and sometime reality star is not a huge drinker. At clubs he will drink and he orders a ton of booze, but he is not like Jay-Z who will actually get hammered. There are times though that our celebrity does. If you are a 18-22 year old gay male interested in older men and lots of presents, this is your chance. Our celebrity uses his drinking as an excuse to take a night off from being a ladies man. He heads to a club and finds some willing guys and then for the rest of the night they drive around in a party bus while our celebrity enjoys getting wild with the guys with no one to see and is passing out money and presents and booze and seemingly at his happiest. When the party is over he drops them back off at the club and then pretends it all never happened. Just blames it on the booze. (CDAN)

Diddy?

This A list mostly movie actor and Academy Award winner/nominee has a new male lover. As his custom though, the actor refuses to ever admit that he is gay and instead, this weekend ate several times by himself at places while not even allowing his new lover to order room service. Instead, the actor would bring him back coffee and wraps from Starbucks. Our actor is apparently one of the cruelest guys around when it comes to his partners. Violently so. (CDAN)

Violently so? What in Matt and Dan from Melrose Place HELL?!

Which former sitcom star—a gal with a wacky, freewheeling sense of spirituality—used to breastfeed her pet possum while she got her hair colored, also making sure to have a wet nurse around to do the job when she was busy with something more important? (Village Voice via Blind Gossip)

Kirstie Alley? I mean, she does have a tiny zoo in her backyard. The only way we'll know for sure if is we call every animal hospital in the L.A. area and ask them if a raspy-voiced crazy bitch has ever called to tell them that her pet possum sort of kind of chewed off her nip and swallowed it and she's wondering how long before it shits it out. 

This immensely popular good ole boy show has a cast who all seem to be raging heterosexuals. Not so for one of the cast members who, despite having a gorgeous wife, also has a man he sees on the side when he travels to various industry conventions. (CDAN)

Jeb from Duck Dynasty? The dude who gets to get his b-hole tickled by that beard is one lucky ho. 

This C list celebrity reality offspring has been introducing himself to girls by telling them who he is and who he is related to and if they would like to get with him, they also need to be comfortable being shared with a couple of his friends too. He is a winner. I have also heard that to see his peen you need a microscope. (CDAN)

I want to say Jim Bob Duggar, but I'm going to go with Rob Kardashian? 

This still married A list mostly movie actor used an escort two nights ago. He stiffed her. He convinced her he would pay her after and then told her to get out when he was finished. She started screaming at him and he called hotel security to have her tossed out. (CDAN)

My only guess is Russell Crowe and he is all movies, so just like the hooker in this blind item, I've got nothing. This is why you always need to charge your john's card first. No cash, no ass. Just another life lesson I learned from Pretty Woman. 

This A list reality star apparently caught her A list celebrity boyfriend in way more than just a lip lock with another guy. It does not seem to have slowed down their relationship at all though. (CDAN)

Kim Kartrashian and Kanye? I'm not saying that I don't think Kanye has never gargled a pair of low hangers before, but I doubt he was doing it with another dude. Kanye was just humping his naked reflection in the mirror again. Like he always does.

We were all a little sad, I think, when it was confirmed that they’d broken up. No one sadder than him. But she left him because of his drinking. It was excessive, and with the experience of her last relationship, she saw the signs and opted for self-preservation. In addition to his relationship with alcohol though, he also had an unconventional relationship with sex. Think...Michael Fassbender in Shame. Along those lines. Though he was faithful to her, totally, there are addiction issues he clearly has to address. And he’s doing that now, going to meetings, reaching out to another celebrity in recovery with whom he’s worked, as some of their issues are quite similar. He’s almost a month sober now and, yes, he’s doing it, in part, to get her back which... well... they know that’s not the way, don’t they? A few people close to him don’t think he’s really taking it seriously if he hasn’t committed to rehab. And she can see that too. For her, this is permanent, even though he doesn’t seem to be able to accept it. (Lainey Gossip)

Michelle Williams, Jason Segel and Russell Brand for the sober celebrity? And by "unconventional relationship with sex," Lainey totally means puppet anal, right?

This B list television couple from a very hit show is set to make their public debut as a real couple. They have been teasing everyone for a very long time, but it looks like the actor in this actor/actress relationship is ready to leave his wife and confirm what everyone has been guessing for a long time. (CDAN)

David Duchovny isn't officially divorced from Tea Leoni, so I'll guess that this is about him and Gillian Anderson. But I really wish this was about Shannen Doherty and Luke Perry.

This television show continues to go through some major changes and it’s causing pain for everyone… especially its male lead.

The situation is very fluid, so the strategy has been changing from week to week (or sometimes even day to day)!

Here is the latest: As of today, the plan is to have two new young costars has been scrapped. It’s too risky to bring in two new people and hope that they have some chemistry.

So, the new new plan is to keep the male lead and bring in a new female lead with whom he has some chemistry. And what better way to do that than to bring back one of its classic stars? That’s right, instead of going with a young, fresh face, they are going to bring back one of the old ones!

All three of these contenders have worked with the male lead before in some capacity. Here are the three women in contention:

1. This former leading lady just quit her job. She has nothing else lined up for the foreseeable future. Although she has publicly claimed several times that she won’t go back and she wants to spend more time with her family (blah blah blah), she is telling friends that it is all a negotiating tactic to return to the male star’s side… for the really big bucks. She wants the same salary as the male lead… which is something that was unthinkable a few years ago!

2. This former leading lady is doing well in her new gig. There is really no compelling reason for her to return to her old show. She is moving forward, and although she has a very good personal relationship with the male star and owes part of her success to him, she doesn’t see it as a good career move to go backwards.

3. This woman has great credentials, but she is not owing anything the male lead in regards to her career success. Besides, she is so rich on her own, they may not be able to afford her no matter what they offer.

The network has approved all three women, and is willing to pay a huge price to lure one of them into the co-starring role. If the partnership works, the male star can stay. If it doesn’t, the older male lead is out, the older female lead will stay, and she will then be paired with a new younger male lead.

Oh, and will they have to cut the male lead’s salary to make this happen? Yes! He is going to have to take hits to both his ego and his wallet for this strategy to work. This is going to be interesting. (Blind Gossip)

More Today show shit! My guess is #1 is Meredith Vieira, #2 is Katie Couric and #3 is Maria Shriver.Today just needs to stop trying and give every hour to Willard Scott already. 

This is the most unlikely – and shocking – celebrity pairing of the year! We’ll call them Big and Little.

Big supposedly has a steady girlfriend. He used to be good, but he is definitely behaving badly now.

Little is married. She wants everyone to think she is a very good girl, but she is definitely a very bad girl.

Big and Little hooked up in Los Angeles earlier this year during the week of a major awards show. He just couldn’t keep it in his pants. She just couldn’t keep it out of her mouth.

Much more to come on this one. (Blind Gossip)

I'm probably ever layer of wrong and guessing "Rhea Perlman and ASkars" would probably make more sense, but I'm going to say Liam Neeson and Reese Witherspoon? I don't know if Liam Neeson is still with his girlfriend, but he works as a guess, because he's big in more ways than one. Exhibit: (NSFW) EVERYTHING. The Hammaconda who?

This must have been a sight to see. Kid's Choice Awards after party. Two huge tweener stars on a a show that is currently airing. Mid-teens at best and bent over with their knees on the bathroom floor and short dresses riding up while they do lines of coke off a menu from the party. Meanwhile there were five or six other people in the bathroom. (CDAN)

Those coke whores SpongeBob and Patrick Star? But, big deal. Those Nickelodeon tricks are amateurs. I'm sure as this was going on, two Disney hos were shooting heroin into Mickey Mouse's eyeballs as Daisy Duck smoked crack through her butt in the corner. 

In a survey of celebrity coke users, the consensus is that if you are ever wanting to hang out with another celebrity because of their coke stash, this former A list reality star and now C- list celebrity who thinks of herself always as A list has by far the best coke anyone has ever tried. It is one of the reasons that other actors and actresses and celebrities never really said bad things about her. They didn't want to be cut off. Yes, it is supposedly really that good. (CDAN)

Parasite Hilton? But those bags of white dust she gives them isn't coke. It's her toxic coochie dandruff. Suckers. 

This A+ list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee who spent one weekend night talking to women in a bar. When they approached him, he asked each what they would be willing to do for $1000. Apparently one of them answered the way he wanted because he invited her to sit down and then left the bar with her a short time later. (CDAN)

Leonardo DiCaprio? My guess is that the bar chick told Leo that for $1,000, she'll dress up in a fancy gown, stand at an imaginary podium and say the words, "And the Oscar goes to Leonardo DiCaprio!" The Oscars hate him and he's not going to win one in real life, so he might as well win one while role playing with a call girl. 

This female A list celebrity got into a knock down drag out fight with this C list celebrity after the C lister started doing coke on a private jet flight the two were sharing. The C lister didn't seem to care that she was doing it front of a publicist and the flight attendant. The two spent over an hour screaming at each other and it got to the point where the pilot said if they didn't stop he was going to land the plane. Huh. Kind of like when a dad pulls over the family truckster. Yeah, that last part is a clue, but has nothing to do with Vacation. (CDAN)

I guess the last clue means that they're related so I say it's either:
Jessica and Asshole Simpson?

Beyonce and Basement Baby?

Hilary and Haylie Duff?

Audrey and Judy Landers?

It's probably not Beyonce and Basement Baby, because Beyonce makes Basement Baby fly Southwest. It's not Hilary and Haylie Duff, because Hilary has slid down the B list and is hanging on while her toe touches the C list. It's not Audrey and Judy Landers, because they're both sitting on top of the A list and they're too elegant to scream at each other. So my final guess is Jessica and Asshole. Chestica should shut her lips, because it's hard out there for a ho who's daddy is licking the b-holes of skinny twinks who look like her with shorter hair.

This A list rapper has been telling friends that he has made a serious mistake by getting involved with his girlfriend. He says that it has been nothing but drama and that he is bombarded by her family for requests to help them out and that he should be doing it out of the goodness of his heart. He has been spending a great deal of time alone or with his "assistant," and doing a ton of coke. (CDAN)

Kanye? Asshole Simpson should start hitching rides on his jet instead of Jessica's.

This almost A list celebrity/reality star should probably be worried because there are three women who have all banded together and are in the process of selling a joint story about the celebrity cheating on his A- list celebrity wife. The three are just the tip (Insert Office joke here). (CDAN)

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman?

Once upon a time, there was a sweet and spicy little star of a television show.

During the week of the Grammys, she met a big rapper who was nominated for a major award.

She was married and a lot older than him.

But they hooked up anyway.

Now there is tape out there documenting the very special time they spent together.

The End. (Blind Gossip)

Charo and Rick Ross!

Which troubled actress – who is now better know for her troubles with the law than any work she has done in years – was caught climbing out of a window of a Beverly Hills mansion after the house party got interrupted by the police?

The private party was assumed to be a ‘safe place’ to engage in illegal activities until the cops arrived after complaints about the noise.

The house was full of some of Los Angeles’ hardest-partying kids and even they were worried about the young star that certainly knows her way around a courtroom! (Naughty But Nice Rob via Blind Gossip)

This is obviously about Lindsay Lohan, but I don't know why she was running from the cops. Like they'd really arrest her ass. If she snorted a line off of a baby's ass in front of a cop, the cop would probably say, "Let me hold that baby down for you, it's squirming around."

Following in the footsteps of Sam Champion, Thomas Roberts, Anderson Cooper and now Jenna Wolfe – another high profile TV newsperson is thinking of coming out of the closet to reveal they too are gay.

Everyone in the business knows the truth about the person we see on TV five days a week, however recently after life became much more public, the pressure is mounting.

It’s very difficult to let people into half of your life and then close the door. Now the door is open you cannot shut it. (Naughty But Nice via Blind Gossip)

NBC would totally force Matt Lauer to lie and say that he's transgender and about to get gender reassignment surgery if it made Today the #1 morning show again, but I'm going to guess that this is really about Robin Roberts?

This month marks the 9th anniversary for this gay couple. 9 years that this B list mostly television actor who is one of the very few actors to continue having a career after this hit network teen type show went off the air a few years back has hid his boyfriend. That is a long, long time. (CDAN)

I've got nothing, so I'm just going to pull a name out of my wet dreams....and that name is Scott Speedman!

Staff at a Hamburg sex shop say they were surprised to see which pop star – a favourite of Princess Di – buying glide gel, a dildo, and a special device with a cockring-like base and a dolphin-shaped vibrating tip? (Pop Bitch via Blind Gossip)

Elton John, and I have a feeling that Princess Di would totally approve.

WHICH TV star is just as well known as a gigolo to married women in Manhattan? (Page Six via Blind Gossip)

Wolf Blitzer, of course!

This boyfriend of an A list celebrity is using some of the money he is getting paid by the celebrity to pay for escorts. The guy is an idiot to be risking the millions he could make by sticking with the celebrity. (CDAN)

Casper Smart? Well, at least he finally realized that buying dick on Rent Boy is way more discreet than trolling glory holes.

When adult celebrities choose to act in scandalous ways, we freely talk about it. However, when their children are involved, we are always a bit more hesitant.

In this particular case, though, the way these parents are handling their children is so unusual that we think it is fair game to discuss it.

This celebrity couple has more than one child. One or both members of the couple has been married before, and not all of their children are biologically related to both parents. Their children have been raised in the spotlight, and one or more of the children has already started working in the entertainment industry.

They would like their children to be married someday and to produce grandchildren. Pretty normal stuff, right? However, the way that they are going about it is both unorthodox and unsettling.

A former employee told us that the couple has told staff: “The kids have been brought up with a very specific understanding of their role in this world. We expect them to marry someone who fits in so that they can support each other in that role. So we think it would be ideal if they paired off with each other and had children together to carry on the legacy we have created.”

That’s right! They are setting up their children to marry each other! To this end, the parents will be soon be purchasing property in the state of New Hampshire. Although they already own multiple homes, New Hampshire has the lowest marriageable age in the US (13 for the girl, 14 for the boy, as long as they have parental permission and a court waiver). As soon as both children are of age, they will be paired off and married to each other. Furthermore, they found out that if the daughter is pregnant, the court will certainly grant a waiver and that they can pull this off. Although they will continue to live with the parents, the child couple will be encouraged to have as many children as possible in order to continue the family legacy.

So far the children are going along with the plan. They have been carefully groomed to believe that this is a normal and natural arrangement. The whole family has often played “pretend wedding”, with the kids dressing us as bride and groom and going through a pretend ceremony. They do this so that when the time comes, they will be relaxed and ready to “dash” to the altar to do the real thing.

Not everyone in the household staff is cool with this arrangement. One employee has quit and one has been fired in the past year because they believe that it is wrong to force the children to do this, and they have threatened to report the parents to Child Services.

If you are wondering if both parents support this plan, the answer is yes. The woman is so dominant in this relationship (in more ways than one) that the man simply goes along with whatever she says. (Blind Gossip)

I can't and I won't. I'm just surprised that this isn't about the Duggars. UPDATE: Duh. It was an April Fools joke. All day, I was trying to be so careful with that April Fools shit and then I fall for this. I would scream at Blind Gossip for tricking me, but I have to go buy a million baby presents for all my friends on Facebook who announced today that they're knocked up.

Which A-list leading man who has been paying a lot of attention to his hair recently – would be better off focusing on his nasty breath?

“It is almost impossible not to notice the nasty smell coming out of his mouth. It smells like something died in it,” one movie insider tells Naughty But Nice Rob.

What is amazing is the handsome celebrity has just been spotted kissing his sexy young girlfriend, who clearly has to know – or smell -the problem!

It’s like he spend a night out partying with his friends – that’s the smell when he opens his mouth.

Guess Who? (Naughty But Nice Rob via Blind Gossip)

Bradley Cooper? But I'm sure Sucki Waterhose or whatever her name is doesn't mind, because he gives her a bonus if she doesn't twitch her nose and dry heave when inhaling his dirty butt breath.

It looks like this professional athlete crossed the wrong ex-employee.

While the athlete claims that he and the ex-employee were simply “close friends” – and has been denying that they had a sexual relationship with the employee – the employee is not supporting the athlete’s version of events.

The male employee is now telling anyone who will listen, “He loved me like a brother, but he fucked me like a wife.”

He says he has plenty of photos and text messages to back up his side of the story. He says that he is speaking out because he wants the truth to be out there… but also admits that he would also like to star in a reality show. (Blind Gossip)

Kerry Rhodes? Exhibit: A through Z! I see Kerry's "assistant" trying to give him pineapple juice. Trying to sweeten the cream, I see.

This female A list Academy Award winner/nominee is said to have had an intense discussion with her manager and agent about coming out during the press rounds she is going to make for her latest movie. (CDAN)

Diane Keaton? That's all I've got

This A list female mostly movie actress says she is best friends with her fairly new husband. This is probably true considering that they don't do much else since he has a boyfriend. She loves how he keeps the boyfriend quiet and she gets to be out of the dating pool which she hated. (CDAN)

Anne Hathaway? Now all she needs is a pill addiction and she'll really be the new Judy Garland.

Soul musician Allen Stone performed at Coachella last weekend. His music tends to be more on the mellow side, so the crowd at his concert was generally respectful and attentive.

One young celebrity apparently didn’t get the memo. While Allen was performing, she was screaming “Wooooo!” at the top of her lungs and pumping her fists in the air.

That’s not all. This concert was during daylight hours, and our girl was dressed in a loose-fitting crop top without anything underneath. She would occasionally yell for the singer’s attention… and then lift up her top to flash him. “Wooooo!”

Those around her said that few people paid attention to her antics, perhaps because she was acting like just another random wasted bohemian girl at Coachella. And perhaps because everyone has already seen her naked? (Blind Gossip)

Vanessa Hudgens? But then again maybe it isn't Vanessa Hudgens, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't even watch the bands. She just gets naked, runs around and throws sunflower petals at everyone. 

This set of two married couples is A list and they always used to do everything together. It was always a strange pairing of couples, but it seemed to work for them. Over the past year though, there have only been two occasions and on both, the wife of the lesser known celebrity male was not there. reason? She told her husband that she has a thing for the more well known celebrity male. There have even been rumors the pair hooked up. (CDAN)

Beyonce, Jay-Z, Chris Martin and Goopy? If Jay-Z's been asking Beyonce to wear a lace front over her vagine, she now knows why. He misses Goopy's 70s bush.

Hello? I’d like to order up a sibling, please!

Guess who’s having a baby? It’s a superstar couple that everyone loves to hate!

Before you start getting all excited about a pregnancy, let’s get one thing straight: She is definitely NOT going to be giving birth to this one!

She has been trying to get pregnant for the past year or so, but it’s just not happening. Plus, publicity was a nightmare with the last baby. She was completely stressed out about baby bumps and weight and photos and clothes and rumors, and she really doesn’t want to go through that again!

So, they are phoning it in via surrogate. If the surrogate can hold the pregnancy (things look good so far), the birth will happen at the end of this year. Bring on the unusual names! (Blind Gossip)

I have a picture of Goopy and Chris Martin on a dart board in front of my toilet, so they're my favorite superstar couple to hate. But I'm guessing this is about Beyonce.

Comedian Tig Nataro, who has three films coming out this year, is one of Sarah Silverman’s favorite collaborators.

She recently sat down with a reporter from Elle Magazine to talk about her life over the past year. During the interview, she revealed an interesting bit of information about her personal life.

From Elle Magazine:

"As Notaro was telling me this, she was playing with a loose, pink-faced platinum Rolex on her wrist. When I complimented her watch, Notaro’s reserved countenance cracked open for the first time in our conversation—she became visibly excited and a little flustered. As it turned out, the watch belongs to an actress Notaro has had a crush on for years, whom she started dating just as her life was shifting from terrible to incredible.'Tomorrow is her birthday, so I thought about getting this fixed,' Notaro said. 'I’m not a religious person; I’m not even, like, a spiritual person. But it felt like she was placed in my life, and it carried me through.'"

BTW, although we don’t know exactly which model of Rolex watch Tig was wearing, the Rolex Datejust 26mm President Platinum Diamond Ladies Watch retails for $52,000.

Yes, $52,000. (Blind Gossip)

I Googled "pink Rolex actress" and pictures of Charlize Theron, Elizabeth Hurley, Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reid, Jennifer Aniston and Minka Kelly came up. I don't think Tig wants to be another SamRo, so LiLo is out. I don't think Tig wants whiskey-infused barf on her crotch, so Tara Reid is out. I don't think Tig wants Derek Jeter germs on her sex parts, so Minka Kelly is out. I'll go with Charlize even though it's not Charlize, because I think a lot of hos pray to God to bring them Charlize Theron.

This celebrity is fast approaching A list status. He is a tweener. A tweener who pops up every now and again in pap photos and usually has an equally famous female tweener on his arm. There was one special tweener he had his eyes on for awhile and they had some supervised dating. The female is fast approaching A list status herself but in an entirely different profession. The supervised dating led to unsupervised dating which led to a pregnancy scare which led to one last chance at supervised dating. The couple, being tweeners still found ways to be alone and the relationship was becoming more and more serious. The parents of the female started freaking out, but not quite as much as when their perfectly crafted daughter was caught up in a little bit of a drug scandal which would have rocked the family to the core. Going through their daughter's phone, they found photos of her boyfriend doing lines of coke and a bunch of lines waiting to be snorted. The daughter insisted she did not do any drugs. The parents made her take a drug test but no one knows what the results were. Meanwhile they told the male tweener to stay very far away and if he didn't, they would see the photos were published. They wouldn't have done it though because it would have sent their future money earner down with him. (CDAN)

Jaden Smith and one of those Jenner girls he's supposedly dating? I went to the Jack in the Box drive-thru today and was told that they didn't have monster tacos and that still didn't make me as sad as reading that Jaden Smith is close to A-list does.

This former A list tweener and now just a general all around a-hole was hanging out with his friend and surrounded by a group of women who are fans. Well, were fans probably. Our former Tweener kept grabbing himself and asking who wanted some of him and for the women to not be shy. His friend also did the same thing and our tweener kept offering the both of them. When none of the women took them up on their offer he referred to them all as lesbian bitches. (CDAN)

Donny Osmond, of course!

Which beautiful celebrity who has always been known for her gorgeous looks, although maybe never more than as she has grown older, has a dirty little beauty secrets that she never talks about.

She is always happy to pass on advice about diet and exercise, however the one beauty tip this star doesn’t want the public to know about is that she has been getting colonics for years.

She has “pooped” years away, without saying a word. Only her closest friends and family know about her real tip for staying thin and getting great looking skin – and of course those that have seen her exiting a certain “spa” on Spring Street in New York. A place that is not unknown to many celebrities included one that popped a tube into the bottom of someone who once declared they were the – “king of the world." (Naughty But Nice Rob)

Maybe this is too obvious, but my only guess is Goopy Paltrow? Anybody who has ever read GOOP knows that it should be called POOP, because she's obsessed with caca. When she's not shitting from her butt, she's shitting from her mouth. If she was on Pee-wee's Playhouse and said that she loves poop, he'd tell her that if she loves it so much she should marry it and she would. If only she could get colonics on her mouth too.

And the "king of the world" dude is obviously Leonardo DiCaprio. Maybe he's so happy in this picture, because he just got all the poop sucked out of him.

Many people think that this celebrity is gay. Let us set you straight on this. He is not gay. He is actually bisexual. Sort of. Yes, it’s complicated.

In public, he only dates beautiful women. Although he is nice to them, spends time with them, and spends money on them, he rarely has sex with them. And then there are only two rules: He can see any man he wants on the side, but she is allowed to date only him. And, after the relationship is over, she had better keep quiet.

He has sex with both men and women, but it’s not frequent or intense or especially satisfying, and it’s never as part of a long-term, committed relationship. The women he dates aren’t even sure of their role. They are not sure if they are his beard, his pal, his prop, or his real girlfriend. His exes all describe him the same way. “He is not totally gay, but we only had sex a couple of times. It’s not even like he is bisexual. It’s more like he is asexual.”

Even more interesting is the way that two past girlfriends described what it was like having sex with him. One said he was “bunny fast.” Another described it as “like being poked with an annoying rubber pencil.”

With ringing endorsements like that, why do women date him or stay with him? He’s good looking. And famous. And very rich. And very connected. Too bad that last trait hasn’t helped too many of them progress further in the industry.

So, in conclusion, he is either gay or straight or bisexual or asexual. The women he dates are either his beards, his pals, his props, or his real girlfriends.That clears things right up, doesn’t it? (Blind Gossip)

George Clooney or Ryan Seacrest? The "bunny fast" and "rubber pencil" comments make me think that it's Ryan Seacrest, because I wouldn't be surprise if his peen is an actual rubber pencil. And he has to bone like a bunny on meth, because he has 500 jobs to get back to. 

Which theatrical pop star who has been taking time off to heal from a physical inquiry has also been battling an addiction problem – and checked into a rehab center.

One witness says the person was almost unrecognizable without all the costumes, wigs and makeup. But was serious about getting help.

In the past this person has admitted using drugs and drinking, but didn’t want the fact that they went to get treatment to be announced, so they did it undercover while the public and press were focusing on a different medical issue. (Naughty But Nice Rob)

Lady CaCa?

The bearding just became too much for this celebrity. You would have a tough time guessing her name, but she recently split with her gorgeous B list mostly movie actor "boyfriend," because he has pretty much given up on even pretending they are in a relationship and she didn't want to be dating him when he officially comes out. Considering what he has been doing the past two weeks, it should not be long before he does. (CDAN)

Chris Pinerecently broke up with a piece whose name I'd never guess, but I never figured that his b-hole twitches for peen and I usually think everybody is gay. 

For the first time that I can remember, this former almost A list mostly television actress who has had some roles in some great movies but is best remembered for a hit show or two she was on, showed up to an event with her girlfriend on her arm. Well, not on her arm, but with her which is a first. She didn't talk about it and they didn't kiss, but there was some hand holding and a lot of affection. Good for her. I hope she comes out. (CDAN)

I was going to say Donna Mills, Deidre Hall or Morgan Fairchild, but all of them are forever A-list.

And now for a blind item from The Daily Beast's article on women pooping at work:

A popular national morning TV show host in her 40s—who, like most others interviewed in this story, asked to remain nameless to avoid embarrassment—said that she walks 10 minutes to another section of her midtown office building to do it, and still then only does it when no one in the hallway sees her en route. (via Gawker)

I really wish this was about Kathie Lee Gifford, but she's beyond her 40s and she'd shit in a cup in the middle of the street during rush hour, because drunks don't care. I'll say it's Savannah Guthrie. I mean, she has to look at Matt Lauer's face close-up all morning and that'll make anyone's butt explode constantly. 

No one wants to work with Hollywood’s most difficult mother. She now has a reputation among child care agencies for being the most unpopular celebrity nanny employer and many now only send to her the nannies on their staff who specialise in dealing with mega bitch moms.

She is surprisingly less organised than you would think, often requesting services with no lead time and expecting to be offered priority treatment. When the nanny arrives, she often won’t speak to the person directly, communicating via her assistant, and often implying that the person isn’t attractive enough, and because of this, may or may not sell her out. Because only ugly people compromise confidentiality, I guess?

She confiscates cell phones. She also demands to go through the nanny’s private messages. After a dinner party once, when she and her friends were particularly mouthy, backstabbing several prominent actors and actresses, she demanded to search the nanny who had stayed late -- without prior notice -- so as to make sure she wasn’t bugged and threatened legal action for no reason. Speaking of working hours, she has been known to require extra time but isn’t willing to pay for it, rationalising her request by blaming the person for an imaginary offensive -- like missing diapers or a bent branch/stem in the garden. Ie. “I notice that the whatever bush over there looks a little trampled. You weren’t careful enough. You are staying an extra two hours.”

She is known to be verbally abusive and impatient. She once watched a nanny pick up spilled baby food all over the floor while tapping her hand on the counter and criticising the person’s physique and intellect as the reason for why it was taking so long. Many nannies in LA, hearing horror stories from their peers, have turned potential work placements with her because they don’t want to bother with the drama.

Not Jennifer Garner. (Lainey Gossip)

Sharon Stone, Jessica Alba, Goopy Paltrow or Halle Berry?

It's probably not Sharon Stone, because if she doesn't like what a nanny's doing, she skins that ho with her nails and turns that nanny hide into a pair of boots and a matching purse. It's probably not Goopy Paltrow, because she doesn't hire American nannies. She has hers imported from her homeland Britain. So I'll guess either MiserAlba or Halle Berry?

This former A lister of you define A list as the number of times you get in a tabloid for bad behavior and arrests, but more known for her rapping and interesting name has a new profession. well, not so new. She used to hook before she got famous and her ex now has her on his string again. She is his biggest earner from a select clientele. She is open to anything as long as at the end of the day she gets her fix. I can't believe with her bad luck that she has not been arrested for it yet. (CDAN)

Foxy Brown?

It has been a long time since there was a multiple choice in one of the blind items. I think I have done it previously, but honestly, don't remember when. When the Tony Awards were announced, one of the names below went ballistic when they found out they had not been nominated. The person yelled at their agent and then manager and then someone very close to them and said some of the most vile things you could ever imagine. I knew they had a temper, but not like this.

Katie Holmes
Jessica Chastain
Alec Baldwin
Jim Parsons
Bette Midler
Scarlett Johansson

I know you are all thinking Alec Baldwin so you can eliminate him, because, although he might have gone crazy, he is not the one I know about for this. (CDAN)

Kate Holmes' emotional scale doesn't jump past ......., so she's out. I don't even know if Jim Parsons has the ability to yell at a trick, so he's out. ScarJo is too bland to come up with vile, filthy shit on her own, so she's out. That leaves Bette Midler and Jessica Chastain. I'll go with Bette Midler. She should've recorded that meltdown and sent it to the Tony committee. Bitch might've gotten an honorary Tony for that performance.

This B-/C+ list actress/former reality star found some guy worth millions about 5 minutes into the [Met Gala] and then literally held on to him the entire night and told someone she had to go to the bathroom so bad but was afraid he would find someone else or leave if she went to the bathroom. She held it and held on to him and left with him at the end of the night. (CDAN)

Julianne Hough? Since her contract with Ryan Seacrest ended, she has to find another sugar daddy who will buy her $100,000 worth of jewelry that will mysteriously disappear from her car. But if she wants to get into the gold digging game, she needs to come prepared. What kind of gold digger doesn't wear diapers when hunting for her next benefactor?

Wearing a diaper while hunting for gold is a must for two reasons: 1) You'll never have to leave his side, so he won't go searching for another trick and; 2) If he's really boring and talks way too much, you can pee in your diaper and the look of serene relief that covers your face will make him think that you're really into him.

Pampers are an important tool for gold diggers! 

The 1% love to date each other. Actors, singers, dancers, directors, business people, and athletes, all play musical partners with each other. There is a case of one couple, though, that is about to get ugly, and one will certainly want revenge on the other.

She is a top film actress. He is a businessman with a penchant for photography. He has always been a bit obsessed with using the human body in his work. He is especially into women’s breasts. Given that she is known for her voluptuous figure, it is not surprising that he found her attractive. Actually, almost everyone finds her attractive. Young, blonde, busty, nice, talented. What’s not to like?

While they were together, he took photos of her. Lots of photos. Now, we’re not talking about photos of her riding the Staten Island Ferry. We’re talking about nude photos of her in various seductive poses.

What happened to those photos when they broke up late last year? He kept them. And they are now making the rounds of the New York business community.

His justification: “They’re art!”

She would likely disagree. While they might have been “art” when he was taking them, as soon as he started showing them around, they became “porn”. She is going to throw a fit when she finds out. (Blind Gossip)

ScarJo and that Nate Naylor dude? But haven't we already met ScarJo's nipples before?

This almost A list mostly movie actress who deserves to be about a C and would be if not for a franchise was wasted out of her mind [at the Met Gala] and people swore they were getting a contact high just being next to her. (CDAN)

Kristen Stewart? Duh. I'm sure they were getting contact high, because the clouds of carbon dioxide that she exhales have at least 25% THC in them.

This sexy actor has been married to his beautiful actress wife for several years.

Last year, a month or two after one of his movies opened, he and a group of his friends (including another well-known actor he’s been known to wrestle around with) visited a bar in New York City. Our actor pointed out a couple of girls to one of his friends, and the friend approached the girls with a proposition.

“Do you recognize my friend over there? He picked you out. He wants to know if you two will have a threesome with him.”

The girls immediately recognized the actor, but were not impressed. “First of all, we’re sisters, so that’s really gross. Secondly, isn’t he married?”

The friend went back to the actor, and they conferred for a minute or two before the friend returned. “Yes, but he doesn’t understand why that would be a problem.”

At that moment, some other women in the bar recognized the actor, and began to create a scene. As the actor and his friends scrambled to quickly leave the bar, the actor had these departing words for the sisters: “Your loss!”

His wife is very pregnant right now. We wonder if she knows that her husband is unfaithful. And into threesomes. And into picking up strangers in bars. (Blind Gossip)

Channing Tatum and Mark Ruffalo? But I'm having a hard time picturing Mark Ruffalo as Channing Tatum's coochie wrangler....

Which former boybander, who likes to trash his former father-in-law, better be careful about upsetting his former wife?

After he recently bashed his ex-in-law, his ex-wife has told friends she’ll come to her dad’s defense–telling pals that her ex-man may have a big mouth, but he has a small penis! (Naughty But Nice Rob)

This is the opposite of blind and it's obviously supposed to be about Nick Lachey. No question mark needed. If it is true, then it really isn't a big deal (not punned on purpose), because what Nick lacks in peen he makes up for in tits!

I can tell you that there’s a girl who’s pregnant and even though she says she says that her steady is the father, she’s really not sure it’s not one of her co-stars, who sleeps with almost all their colleagues and with whom she used to bootycall on the regular. Depends on what the mouth looks like when the baby comes. Does that help a little? (Lainey Gossip via Blind Gossip)

Kim Kardashian and Bruce Jenner! Or Heather Morris and Chord Overstreet? If she pops out a giant set of lips covered in blond hair, Maury won't need to step in.

Which celebrity couple, whom recent had an ugly split, is not being totally honest – the two of them have agreed to pretend to be “at war” with each other to add a little drama, and a lot of attention to the otherwise dull story.

“They are both genius when it comes to PR. They know a seemingly ugly divorce will get both of them a lot of attention, which they both love, plus, it will make them both a lot more money in the long run,” one friend of the couple’s explains.

“The two of them still live together and have dinner together most nights, however, whenever they are in public they pretend they have no contact with the other person,” adds another pal. “These two have both worked out how to make a lot of money from being famous and have no plans to stop now. After they officially get divorced they will both be laughing all the way to the bank – together.”

The joke is on us! (Naughty But Nice Rob)

Bethenny Frankelstein and Jason Hoppy?

This B list mostly television actress with A list name recognition from a very hit cable show is set to announce her divorce when she is hidden away filming the next season of her show. She does not want to answer any questions which would seem to mean there is a third person involved. (CDAN)

The only thing I've got is billionaireJulia Louis-Dreyfus?

This A list mostly movie actress says that she wants to get divorced, but does not want to be the bad person so has tried to set up her celebrity husband and get him to cheat with women she has hired. The problem is her husband is so dumb that he believes his wife actually loves him. (CDAN)

Not Goopy, because Goopy is the perfect woman and NOBODY cheats on Goopy. So Julia Roberts?

She hates the paps, and she’s been burned by the paps. So now she’s dealing with the paps and is working exclusively with one agency, agreeing to give them photos on a regular basis. The agreement started several months ago when she approached one agency in exchange for information on a paparazzo working for another agency. She wanted names, plates, any details available, presumably in hopes of either legal retribution, if possible, and illegal retribution, if necessary. Very gangster.

The only problem with making this kind of arrangement is that you have to deliver. And if you don’t deliver as often as the paps want, and on the kind of photos that are lucrative, they’ll take what they can get, show up when they’re not supposed to, and that compromises the control she was attempting to secure in the first place. Very Faustian. (Lainey Gossip)

Julia Roberts or Halle Berry? Julia Roberts has definitely unlocked her velociraptor jaw to swallow paparazzos whole, but I'll go with Halle Berry. Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez seem like the kind of bitches who will send their "cousins" over to a pap's house for a little street juice. 

"I love hanging out with ___________ (A list celebrity/athlete who everyone in the world knows) because when he is around I get some great pussy. Really classy stuff, unlike what I usually get from my groupies. He and I have shared a lot over the years." B+ list singer with A list name recognition talking about how he can't wait to see the A list celebrity this weekend. (CDAN)

Yogi Berra and Tom Jones? Or Kobe Bryant and Wheelchair Jimmy? 

This B list male celebrity if you like that kind of performance, and a D if you don't, had a visit recently. Well, actually our celebrity and his live-in B list celebrity with A list name recognition girlfriend had a visitor. It turns out that one of the people that the B/D list celebrity had been cheating with has gotten herself in the family way. It will be very interesting to see if our celebrity couple are seen together at a big event this weekend where he is expected to attend. (CDAN)

The "big event" I'm guessing is the Billboard Musical Awards, so maybe this is about Whiz Khalifa and Amber Rose? Or that dude from fun. and Lena Dunham? 

This A list mostly movie actor is set to debut his new "girlfriend" just in time for Father's Day and photos of them with his family. (CDAN)

Tommy Girl! My guesses as to who his next beard is are: Julianne Hough, Taylor Swift (she likes 'em fresh out of the vagina, but she'd be willing to go with TG if it gets her into the Beard Hall of Fame), Minka Kelly (because her acting skills aren't going to get her starring roles), Justin Bieber or John Travolta in drag.

Which (in)famous dad of a trouble prone Hollywood actress had a pearl inserted in into his man parts as a teenager?

But unlike Demi Moore’s yoga-teaching boy toy Will Hanigan, who had the pearl inserted due to a farming tradition, boasting it’d give girls extra stimulation in the bedroom, this C-List celebrity did not follow such a tradition.

“He boasts that he and his pals did it when they were in the early teens,” reveals a source. (Naughty But Nice Rob)

Michael Lohan? If it is, I'm surprised he hasn't had it removed, got his entire family to sign it and sold it on eBay. Oh hell, I'm giving him ideas...

This A list rapper said it was worth it to him because he always wanted to have sex with this former A list reality star/celebrity and now just an annoying name. Plus, if he makes a few bucks, then it will be a win/win. It is never a win/win when you have sex with her. Ever. (CDAN)

Lil Wayne and Wonky McValtrex? Lil Wayne is as fertile as a dozen KFeds, so if for some reason they do it, she will get knocked up. And in 9 months, we'll all be running down the street for our lives as a giant sizzurp-filled herp sore with legs and a gold grill chases after us.

These two talented young performers would like you to think that they met after they became part of the same show.

Not true! They actually met – and dated – a couple of years before that.

Why not just admit that they knew and dated each other in the past? Well, because their current project demands that they be perceived as young and hot and available. If people knew that they had dated, it would spoil the illusion.

Besides, their management doesn’t want anyone to know that they are gay. That’s right. These performers are the same gender! And they are still very, very attracted to each other. It’s too bad management won’t let them live their lives openly and honestly, because they make one really cute couple! (Blind Gossip)

Harry and Louis from One Erection?

This A list mostly movie actor has not been spotted with his wife as much as they used to be. It turns out she got wind of a little fling he had on the set of his last movie. Not with a woman, but with his male B list actor co-star. She thinks it is strange and can't seem to get over it. He says he prefers women, but got caught up in the movie. (CDAN)

Matt Damon and Behind the Candelabra? Michael Douglas is forever spinning at the top of the A-list on his tippity toes, so this isn't about him. I'm going to guess the B-list actor is Rob Lowe and I can't blame Matt Damon for riding on that. How could Matt Damon resist the urge to rub his bare ass cheeks all over Rob Lowe's wig and plastic surgery face? Matt Damon is only human. He's only human!

After a series of shitty relationships, she thought she’d finally found the one. He says the right things, he wants to be with her all the time, he isn’t embarrassed to be seen with her. And he’s not motivated to do much other than to be with her. Life is not particularly challenging for either of them...but every man needs his down time. Or, in his case, his down down time.

What does he do with his down, down time?

Not sure...exactly.

But you can smell it. You can always smell it from his office. So there’s one blend for when he needs to relax and then something else when he needs a hit of excitement. Which might explain why there are small mirrors on his desk with powdery white residue. Do they do it together? Surely not now, in her condition. But maybe later for a shortcut to skinny. (Lainey Gossip)

The "he wants to be with her all the time" and "isn't embarrassed to be seen with her" parts cancels out Kim Kardashian and Kanye. The "smell it from his office" part cancels out Jessica Simpson's piece, because what in the hell does her piece need an office for? I'll say it's either about Evan Rachel Wood, Katie Price or Duchess Kate. It's totally Duchess Kate and I bet THE QUEEN is Prince William's dealer.

This A list mostly television actor has been paying his current girlfriend $300K a month to sleep with him every month for almost the past year. A subscription to Playboy would be way cheaper. She is trying to get him to marry her, but he says that paying this amount every month is way less expensive than getting married and then divorced. (CDAN)

Only Charlie Sheen...